


The Benevolent King of the Grand King's Heart

by talonyth



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: I suppose, M/M, fhq setting, kinder surprise, this is one hell of a messy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-03-02 06:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2802623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talonyth/pseuds/talonyth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On first glance, things are not as they appear to be and that also applies to certain volleyball aces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Benevolent King of the Grand King's Heart

**Author's Note:**

> merry christmas kara, this is your secret santa present in kinda sorta proper formatting unlike on tumblr. i love you lots and i hope you will enjoy this fic
> 
> i don't have much to say to this except please read the summary and don't be scared ok bye

Oikawa breathes in shakily, trying to calm himself down. It will be fine, everything will be okay. His hands are trembling as he kneels down next to Ushijima. How had they been so credulous to believe they would leave the kingdom unharmed? In hindsight, with Ushijima bleeding, barely breathing, it has been a blatant trap; one they had willingly walked into, one Ushijima had delightfully accepted in order to avoid a fight of a larger scale than they could have handled. 

Times had been rough as of late, wars breaking out in all countries surrounding them. Ushijima had been stressed, had to fight a battle too much in order to keep his kingdom safe of harm. Oikawa had been by his right hand the entire time, and now as well, now of all times, when he should have realized the ploy, should have smelled the sour note of deception, Oikawa failed. 

As if any king in these days is interested in bonding with allies to restore peace. Expanding their territory is the only thing on their mind, Ushijima the last one to have a heart too pure to believe it. 

How wrong he had been. Who would have guessed that King Takeda, as gentle and nice he looked, could be perfidious enough for such a scheme? It had all been just trap, a vile trick to get Ushijima into his kingdom unarmed so he could slay him. Waited until Oikawa and Ushijima were alone, their defense down around each other to have Ushijima struck down. 

An assassin snuck into their room, how simple of a plan, so simple Oikawa never dreamt of Ushijima to die this way, and slayed Ushijima before any of them could react, Oikawa killing the murderer without batting an eyelid right after. Yet what use of the assassin dead when Ushijima’s life will fade as well? What use does he have when he failed to protect what has been most important?

It’s not only his hands; Oikawa’s entire body is shaking as he tries to tell himself that this is going to work out, Ushijima might not die, he is stronger than this but he is barely conscious anymore and Oikawa knows he won’t be able to save him. The tears on his cheeks feel as thick as liquid lead, as hot to burn his face and leave marks right there for him to remember that all he can do is destroy. He cannot save, cannot heal, he cannot do anything for Ushijima anymore and for the first time truly, Oikawa feels despair when Ushijima reaches out for him and grabs one of his hands. 

His heart still beats, of that Oikawa is sure, right in his chest but it feels like it will stop with Ushijima’s. It might as well. There are too many things to be said yet the time is so limited and Oikawa’s throat so dry that no tone comes out. He hates himself for it; he has never hated anything more. 

Ushijima’s hand is still warm, his grip is still firm. As it always is. Perhaps he isn’t lost yet. He should not be. “I was foolish…” he says, his voice so weak Oikawa would have barely heard if he weren’t quiet himself. A slight smile shows on Ushijima’s face. “I should have known… this was an offer too pleasant to be true… you told me when we left…”

Oikawa did. He remembers he told Ushijima it would be a bad idea to simply accept without anyone to protect him. Without at least a small group of men. ‘I will deceive his trust in me if I do such a thing. In the worst case, I am not a poor soldier myself. I will be able to defend myself,’ Ushijima said back then and Oikawa agreed. He should not have. But he thought that even if Ushijima fails to protect himself, he would be able to. His magic has never failed him before. Except for now; it has been rendered useless. 

“I should have listened…” Ushijima’s voice breaks and along with it, Oikawa feels his heart sinking, shattering possibly - he can’t tell any longer, it feels numb from the pain. His hands are ice in comparison to Ushijima’s. Stiff and cold. Dead, almost. How ironic. How pathetic.

He lets Ushijima calm him down, thumb running over Oikawa’s knuckles faintly. He always did this after finding out Oikawa’s hands were cold. And he does it even now. Oikawa is still shaking, not able to process, not able to function. He should have seen it. He should have warned him. He could have _saved_ him. 

Oikawa opens his mouth to say something - anything - but all that comes out of it is a meek sob, a sound he wasn’t aware of slipping out of him. He wants to make fun of him, tease him that this can’t possibly be all he can take and see another bold reaction to it but all he can do, all that comes to his mind is apologies. Regrets as whimpers spill over his lips rather than words. He doesn’t remember crying hurt this much before. It never burned his skin like this, never cut his air off until his lungs hurt, never ran like a tremor throughout his entire body without ever calming down, making it impossible for him to say a single word. If only his powers allowed him to mend Ushijima. If only they proved to be useful once and not destructive. 

But they don’t. The grip on Oikawa’s hands loosens, bit by bit, warmth fading slowly as Oikawa bites his lower lip. He doesn’t want Ushijima to die. He should have kept him safe. He should have advised him better, should have aided him more than this. Should have shown him his appreciation much more, should have thanked him for treating him like a king when he was nothing more than a monster to everyone else. Feared and avoided, child of a demon king exiled, Oikawa had never thought to even as much as talk to someone else in his life. 

It was a coincidence for him to have met Ushijima and Iwaizumi when he sneaked out of home, his father telling him not to mingle with lowly humans, but all Oikawa wanted was someone to talk to. They were his only friends until his father found out about him sneaking out and locking him up in his room in chains so he would not dare to go out anymore, threatening to kill his friends if he did. It was a miracle to him when years later, Ushijima freed him, the demon king slayed, and took him to the castle with him. Iwaizumi had been exiled, Ushijima told him then, he had been accused of treason, of wanting to kidnap young prince Ushijima. Neither of them ever believed it to be true but they never found Iwaizumi to get him back. 

And now they wouldn’t anymore, not together. Oikawa squeezes Ushijima’s hand, pressing a kiss onto the back of it, for all the words he can’t say, can’t bring over his lips anymore this is the least he can do. “I am so sorry…”

Oikawa barely recognizes his own voice, never heard it sounding so feeble before, drowning in the tears running down his cheeks. He leans his forehead onto Ushijima’s hand, touching it barely noticeable. It has gone colder. 

“Please keep them safe… safe of war…”

Without thinking, Oikawa nods and squeezes Ushijima’s hand tighter, nails digging into his skin. “I will try to. I promise I will,” he says as fiercely as his voice allows him to. 

Ushijima had never smiled much in his life. Even when they were younger, it would only be a small, almost imperceptible one. One evening, sitting on the branch of a tree that cracked dangerously but none of the three boys seemed to care, little Oikawa decided to ask. Ushijima explained to him this was how he was raised to be like, taught to be as serious about all matters. ‘No fun allowed, huh? That’s so booooooooooooring. You’ll see, I’ll make you smile lots,’ was what Oikawa declared and had Iwaizumi help him tickle Ushijima. It was the first time he heard him laugh and saw him smile - and ended up with bruises and scratches all over his body from falling off the tree right into a bramble. It is one of the most pleasant memories Oikawa has. 

It is the last thing Oikawa sees on Ushijima’s face before he realizes how shallow his breathing is, how cold his hands and how heavy his tongue as he drags the last words out of him. “I know…” he breathes, smile on his lips as if it is the most natural thing to do. “I trust you…” 

He closes his eyes, as does Oikawa as he listens to him breathe in and out, in and out. Once. Twice. And it goes quiet. Oikawa squeezes Ushijima’s hand as tightly as he can, resting his cheek against it as if it could make him wake up again. If only he tried hard enough, maybe it would be possible. 

But it isn’t. 

-

“Alright, cut!” Ennoshita’s voice rings through the room, loud enough for everyone to hear but he claps once nonetheless. The lights go back on again, small noises audible from all corners, especially Takinoue’s who seemed to have trouble keeping the camera still and quiet so he decided to hold his breath in. ‘It’s like with a gun, you just. Have to keep it steady, you know?’ he always says. “That was absolutely perfect,” Ennoshita adds as he gets up. 

Oikawa breathes in, the tears still sticking to his face. Actually, they are still running. Cut. Over already. It’s fine now, he tells himself. But he can’t stop, clenching onto Ushijima’s hand who has opened his eyes with Ennoshita’s voice but now lays on the floor unmoving like a good boy, waiting for Oikawa to calm down albeit his eyes show his confusion over Oikawa’s tears. 

“I think I cried a bit,” Suga says in the background, Daichi and Ennoshita snickering along with whom Oikawa recognizes as Iwaizumi. There is only one person who laughs like this. He would strike a comment or two about the script writers Daichi and Suga who seemed to have the utmost fun getting Oikawa and Ushijima into very ambiguous situations throughout the entire movie. If he could speak without sobbing. What in the world…?

“Oikawa,” Ushijima whispers, voice low as to be tactful - God, is Ushijima a respectful person, it pisses Oikawa off how much of a goody two-shoes he is - and rubbing his thumb over Oikawa’s knuckles, “the take is over, I think it will be fine if you stop crying.”

“I know it is over, I heard that damn well myself!” Oikawa hisses between his teeth, trying to gulp down the pathetic sob that wanted to replace his words. It works semi-well, unfortunately. Does Ushijima need to do the knuckle-rubbing thing now, of all times? He feels like he can breathe easier, calmer, no question - but does it really have to work? Does Ushijima really have to be the one to soothe Oikawa’s pain? Because that’s ridiculous. 

This damn prequel is ridiculous. How did this even--- Oh yes, it was his own idea, now he remembers. And how he pleaded for it. If he knew it would come to this, he surely wouldn’t have tried convincing Ennoshita for another movie. He should have quit by the time Ennoshita told him he had an idea he’d love - and the perfect actor for the Grand King’s counterpart. He should have said it was just a joke after all, that he didn’t need a sequel or prequel or anything at all. But then he didn’t want his character to be called lame or dumb either as he heard quite a few times. A few times too often to be pleased. He deserved better than this, probably. 

He isn’t quite sure seeing the person most important to him die was what he wanted to happen to his character. He is very sure he never wanted that person to be Ushijima though. It doesn’t even match up, how is Ushijima the “best possible cast, you will be stoked, you’ll see” Ennoshita promised him? As enemies, perhaps. That would have been a blast. But as partners, as friends, as actually close to each other? He was sure this was payback from Ennoshita. 

Unfortunately, Oikawa realized after the first week, working with Ushijima is comfortable. He is patient and he does as he is told. Doesn’t go astray much from the script but he impersonates the role well enough by doing that instead of overacting. Oikawa was certain when he first read the script that Ushijima wouldn’t be able to act as the benevolent king he had been pictured as but he fit the role surprisingly well. Sometimes as much as for Oikawa to forget this was Ushijima - his self-proclaimed nemesis. 

All the more ridiculous, hilarious - Oikawa would laugh if he wasn’t crying - that, in fact, he is still crying. He’d been told to think of something that would make him cry. ‘Onions?’ he said before the take, waving Hinata away from him, ‘get them out of my sight, I can manage some tears by myself.’ Maybe it would have stopped now if he had opted for the onion.

As if it isn’t enough that he keeps tearing up whenever he wants it to stop or that he can barely talk without bawling, he notices belatedly he never actually let go of Ushijima’s hand. Who still calmly and slowly rubs his thumb over the back of Oikawa’s hand. It drives him mad. Ushijima ought to stop being nice. He said it himself, the take is over so why does he keep doing this? Isn’t he the one too much in character? Then again, with dismay Oikawa doesn’t remember a single instance in which Ushijima had been rude or hostile towards him. As if they weren’t enemies in the first place. What a joke. 

Oikawa can hear some whispering around him but he can’t tell what they are saying. Well, it looks ludicrous enough as is, he figures. He holds Ushijima’s hand who looks dead but isn’t and he is still crying even though he shouldn’t be and--- isn’t there some sort of valve to turn so the tears will stop? Some sort of remedy for a pretendingly broken heart that feels very real? 

He wishes he would have never asked. Especially when he feels lips pressed against his somehow clumsily, as if they had never done it before--- 

Wait. A. Second. Maybe two. Maybe three. 

Oikawa is sure he doesn’t breathe anymore, nor does his heart beat anymore, nor does anyone live anymore as it seems because the room goes dead quiet. Except for someone dropping whatever he held in hands onto the floor. Oikawa doesn’t look, doesn’t know who but he knows if he held something other than Ushijima’s hand in his, he would have very likely dropped it as well. Out of shock, out of awe, out of knows Heaven what because this is too surreal for words. 

This isn’t a scene, this isn’t a script, this isn’t even being filmed or so Oikawa hopes when his frozen brain processes that Ushijima Wakatoshi - number 1 national volleyball ace, his archnemesis - kisses him. And he doesn’t even do it well. For a second, he feels the need to press back just to show Ushijima how it properly works but the situation is absurd enough as it is. 

But there is the valve, apparently. 

Not exactly what Oikawa imagined - _nothing_ what Oikawa imagined - but at least the tide is going out. When Ushijima parts, Oikawa doesn’t remember what his lips felt like and maybe it is for the better. Then again, it is not the first time they kissed but the last time he remembers it was some sort of impromptu scene thing Ennoshita probably made up again because he doesn’t remember there having been a kiss mentioned. Back then, Ushijima seemed a lot more skilled at kissing or maybe the angle was better for him. Maybe--- why is he still thinking of that? Stop right here. 

“Is it better now?” Ushijima asks and Oikawa wasn’t aware that - God, how does he look so innocent, this is preposterous, this is _Ushijima_ \- his hand still clenched onto Ushijima’s. How much worse can it get, on a scale from 1 to 10? Right now, he is rather sure it is a 12. 

“Now that was… surprising,” Oikawa hears Suga saying, he thinks it is him but who else would continue with, “see, I told you they had this chemistry and you didn’t believe me, Daichi. Trust me, I see things like this right away.”

He means to listen more but he owes Ushijima a reply and he can’t be bothered with feeling more embarrassed at the fact that a) his face is gross and his eyes swollen from crying, b) he holds Ushijima’s hand and why doesn’t he just let go, c) Ushijima kissed him and d) _Ushijima kissed him._

“At least he’s stopped crying so now we can finally go and take a break.” What a best friend he is, this Iwa-chan. For him to say things like these at a desperate time like this… how comes he isn’t upset? He hates Ushijima just as much so why? Hate? Somehow that word feels wrong but it never did before so now why? Oikawa’s head is clouded with questions. 

Everyone seemingly agrees with Iwaizumi, slowly moving out of the room. Oikawa catches a few words, of course the main topic is, well, _them_. But Ushijima doesn’t move at all, not even when they are left alone, no noise around them any longer. 

“Was that too rash?” he asks, finally not as quiet anymore. 

“...You are kidding, right?” Oikawa breathes and he can’t wrap his head around how Ushijima is outside of the court. Outside of the gym. He is completely different than what he expected and he doesn’t know whether to be happy or angry about that. He is mainly angry. At himself. For actually, perhaps, maybe, a little bit, appreciating it and finding it endearing. Possibly. 

The puzzled look on Ushijima’s face tells Oikawa louder than any words how much he had not been kidding. “I’m sorry… I didn’t know what to do otherwise. I don’t deal well with others crying,” Ushijima explains, lips pressed together like a child scolded. 

“So you kiss them. That’s...your solution? Who would have thought, Ushiwaka-chan, who would have thought.” The hand in his fidgets as if Ushijima wants Oikawa to let go. But how can this possibly get any worse, right?

“No, I don’t. At least not everyone. In fact no one, ever.” 

That explains much. Except it doesn’t explain anything and makes Oikawa wonder even more. “No one, ever? You tell me you’ve never kissed anyone, ever?”

Ushijima nods. “Aside from you, yes.”

How much of a brain freeze can a human brain take? Brain freeze as in ‘I’m so shocked, my brain just shut itself off’ and not the type you get when you eat ice cream too quickly although of that, Oikawa is sure, he had one too many already too. “So, this was your first kiss.”

“Second. We kissed bef---”

“I know that, no need to repeat it, alright!” Oikawa’s voice sounds louder than it should in the empty room despite the many props around them. Breathe in, breathe out. Thankfully his nose is not running from crying anymore though breathing proves to be difficult enough still. 

“Other than that though, yes.”

Oikawa doesn’t even have a comment on his lips to spill about this. He doesn’t want to think how he’s a little - actually very - proud to be bragging about having stolen Great Number 1 Ace’s Ushijima’s first kiss albeit accidentally but no one will care about details like that. Until he remembers this is not how it should be. 

“Ushiwaka-chan, I get that I am very kissable, I heard that lots. I also get that you would want your first kiss with someone who has experience like me. But what EVER gave you idea that was the right time for a kiss? Let me tell you something since I’ve done this before: It was not even close to the right moment. Not even _halfway_ close.”

“...I might have panicked, I suppose. I have seen people cry before and it made me uneasy. Even if I would reach out to them, I knew that would only make things worse,” and Oikawa can imagine in what sort of situations Ushijima had seen others cry. When they lost. And when you lose, you don’t want to be comforted by the one who is at fault for that. That is something Oikawa can very well understand. And it seems as if Ushijima at least grasped the gist of it too although Oikawa doubts he has ever felt like that. How would he when he is always the one victorious? “But in a situation like this, I thought I needed to do something to help you calm down.”

“And that something was a kiss? Ushiwaka-chan, that is so incredibly stupid. Not even Iwa-chan is that dense.”

Ushijima frowns for a second before he breathes out. “Nothing else came to my mind when I thought about you.”

Now there is something Oikawa has learnt about Ushijima in the course of the time they have been filming together. First of all, he is much different than what he seems to be. His appearance suggests someone stern and serious, someone strong and knowledgeable. Someone _mighty_. Unreachable, almost. But confronted with Ushijima outside of his usual image, Oikawa found him to be not the exact opposite of that at least but vastly distinct. 

That he is a very bold guy, that much Oikawa had been familiar with. But it’s pure honesty seeping out of him, Oikawa is sure that in 18 years of his life, Ushijima never lied once and that’s respectable. Aside from that, he is polite and he takes anything he does very seriously. He would do anything and give a 100% even if it was wearing girls’ clothes for an entire day. He would probably pull it off with more dignity than girls themselves would. 

...The image of Ushijima in a frilly dress doesn’t seem to leave Oikawa anymore, adding to his third cerebral reset. It borders on being a threat to his health. A laugh escapes his throat instead of words, whatever his broken brain would have processed. “I never thought you to be a romantic,” he says, smile stuck to his face. 

“Am I?” 

In theory, how are you supposed to be mad at someone who has no idea what he is doing? Oikawa has a thousand reasons to loathe Ushijima but oddly, none of them come to mind when he tries to make fun of him to make his heart rest for a second, at least. He opens his mouth but closes it again. 

“You don’t know when and how to properly kiss someone so I suppose you are not. My bad, _Ushiwaka-chan_ ,” Oikawa replies, trying to sound harsh by stressing his name but Ushijima doesn’t seem to react to that anymore. He even took care of rolling it over his lips with the most obnoxious tone he could bring himself to match his smug grin but Ushijima simply doesn’t react on it anymore. No more ‘Don’t call me that’, no more ‘Oikawa don’t’, no more ‘That won’t rile me up’. Ever since they’ve been filming, he hasn’t reacted angry at that once. What a joke. 

“Will you teach me, then?”

Between innocence and mockery, Oikawa isn’t sure where to pinpoint that particular sentence. In any normal case it would be mockery, certainly. But this is Ushijima and his eyes are so focused on Oikawa’s that, for a second - only one, he swears, he gets lost in them. Ushijima doesn’t mock. That’s not his way of being. He is completely honest. Oikawa thinks he will have to thank whatever God enabled him to be a step over Ushijima like this even if it has him gulping before putting on a smile, a grin that widens as he lifts Ushijima’s hand to his cheek, eyes looking down on Ushijima lying on the floor.

“So, so, the mighty ace wants a lesson from a mere pawn like me. Do you know how much money I would already make if I had this on tape?” and it rolls over his lips far too easily, he fears he might say something he doesn’t want to but his tongue doesn’t stop, “Sell it to the press, they would love to gossip about the rookie ace. His potential so vast, his posture so straight, his face so stern but hidden behind it is an innocent and virgin soul, only touched by another boy. This would make a great story, don’t you think?”

The smile on his face doesn’t cease but Oikawa is certain Ushijima hasn’t caught the malice hidden behind it when he speaks up. “Isn’t a kiss of ours on tape already? The movie will be shown to people after all, or not?”

Oikawa’s victory lasted a full second and a bit until Ushijima decided to stomp it down. With a simple sentence. Oikawa avoids looking into Ushijima’s face. “It was just a hypothesis anyway,” he says, trying to save himself although there is barely anything to save anymore. “A joke, Ushiwaka-chan. You know what that is? A joke?”

“Of course,” he replies, face completely serious. “Do you want me to tell you one? Would that lift your mood?”

Oikawa contemplates to laugh about how ridiculous Ushijima is, then to cry over how endearing it is but also how much he hates himself for thinking this, then to laugh again because Ushijima telling a joke is probably the last thing Oikawa ever expected to experience. He thinks about crying again when he realizes how much he’d like to hear Ushijima laugh. So he nods. 

When he hears the actual joke, he swears the tears are burning at the corner of his eyes again. 

“Why was six afraid of seven?”

“Ushiwaka-chan, that one is old,” Oikawa hums and feels triumphant. So the Great Ace is terrible at kissing - for now - and tells old jokes. That’s relieving. “Because seven eight nine. ...Do you honestly still find this one funny?”

Ushijima looks at Oikawa in confusion. “But that’s not how the joke goes.”

“Really? I was sure this sort of lame joke was the type you would tell. But go ahead, tell me, why was six afraid of seven?” Oikawa says, genuinely surprised. He could have sworn that was how the joke went. 

“Six wasn’t afraid of seven. Numbers aren’t sentient and don’t feel fear.”

Oikawa has seldom felt at such a loss at what to say or do. Ushijima looks at him expectantly but Oikawa can’t find the humour in that. So that’s the thing. He doesn’t tell old jokes. He tells absurd ones that no one understands. It does suit him, somehow. Unbelievable. 

“This joke is horrible,” Oikawa eventually says, amazingly truthful for once. What else is there left to say about it? Again, Ushijima looks much like a huge but scolded child. 

“So it didn’t help. That’s a shame. I quite like it,” he says with a pensive face. “Do you want to hear another?”

“Spare me, please,” Oikawa groans and his hands holding Ushijima’s sink into his lap. “I love to make fun of you but this is plain painful. That’s like kicking someone who is already barely able to breathe.”

“Alright. I will.”

Oikawa raises an eyebrow. “Aren’t you a good boy,” and the next words come over his lips without him meaning to say them, ever, not in this life, not in the next, never, “I like teaching good boys a thing or two.”

Now for the record, what Oikawa had in mind was saying he likes children that behave like the ones he teaches volleyball. But his voice has done some turns at some point and his apparently still broken brain spilt some words that were _never_ supposed to be said - he said never literally just seconds ago and his brain blurted them out, he thinks he will need to divorce it, at some point - and now he sits there, Ushijima on the floor still in almost the same position his character had been dying in, Ushijima’s hand in his own on his lap, having said words so ambiguous that they could have been out of a very bad movie with explicit content. He would rather not think about it. 

Thankfully, his conversation partner is pure at heart as he doesn’t pick up on it but rather his face lightens up and so does Oikawa. Disgusting. What the hell. He tries to suppress his heart hammering against his chest. “I don’t like being unable to do something. So I would appreciate it if you would help me with that.”

Oikawa has many different possibilities as to what to reply to him. ‘Go look for someone else’, ‘Test it on a bottle’, ‘How about you ask Iwa-chan’ though this one just to get back at Iwa-chan for making fun of him earlier, ‘Do it with your girlfriend’, ‘Do it with a volleyball’ which Oikawa has most definitely absolutely certainly never tried, ‘Why me?’, ‘Why do you think of kissing me?’, ‘Why are you not a piece of shit so I can properly hate you?’, ‘Why do I really want to teach you?’ - but just to show him he is actually better than him for once but suddenly the possibilities turn into whatever is on Oikawa’s mind and he lets out a deep sigh. “Look, since I’m such a nice guy with so much experience and you will be guaranteed to swoon if you learn it from me, I will do it. But don’t think we are buddies because of that, alright? I still want to see you burn,” Oikawa says and only one of all the things contained in that sentence is actually true. 

Ushijima keeps quiet for a second and Oikawa is certain he changed his mind until he props himself up from the ground and squeezes Oikawa’s hand, brushing his thumb over Oikawa’s knuckles. “Unless you carry matches with you, I am not going to burn I am afraid. Does that mean I can kiss you?”

His face is far too close now that he sits up, tips of their noses almost touching as Oikawa feels upset. More about himself than about Ushijima. And his joke, that one was the absolute worst. And the goddamn knuckle-rubbing that actually feels very nice and soothing. Damn. “I might consider the matches in a match,” Oikawa replies and doesn’t know whether to feel more disgusted at his attempt at a pun, very likely infected by Ushijima’s non-existent humour, or at the fact that he closes the distance between Ushijima and him, lips burning on his clumsily still. 

It is only a week later at practise back at Aobajousai when Iwaizumi _accidentally_ inserts the wrong DVD, not of a training match but instead of the ‘deleted scenes’ of the Final Haikyuu Quest prequel, starring Oikawa spouting ambiguous lines straight out from a cheap porn movie and Ushijima’s terrible, terrible jokes, that Oikawa realizes he should not even have joked about all this being on tape. He also figures why the entire set had left so diligently, why they all came back giggling and trying to suppress their laughter, the most obvious making good boy jokes. They had seen, at the time, the entire scene and Oikawa swears that not even the absolutely worst possible joke Ushijima could bring up would ever be as embarrassing as hearing Iwaizumi, Hanamaki and Matsukawa cry from laughter whereas the second-years well-behaved try not to laugh but barely manage to hide their snorts. Only the first year are ‘good boys’ as Hanamaki later titles them and urges Oikawa on to teach them. 

“No,” Matsukawa says, grin on his face more than just smug, “the only good boy who gets sweets is Ushiwaka. If you know what I mean.”

If only they knew.

**Author's Note:**

> god i am so embarrassed about this fic this could not be worse and the worst part is i actually have more chapters revolving around the set of the fhq prequel oikawa begged for so much. kill me this is the dumbest romcom


End file.
